16. Starting Conversations with Strangers

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16. Starting Conversations with Strangers

Updated January 21 2003

Your best bet is at a bar or in a café or shop. People sitting atA table next to you, may themselves start a conversation with you, especially once they realize you are an international with potentially a different point of view? That is fine. It is a compliment, not a pick up.

Answer their question in French if you possible can and show your willingness for further conversation by continuing with observations on the same or a different topic.

Whether you are passing time in a café or just buying envelopes, expect a discussion of the opinion .In fact, to invite a question, start with these ten magic words, (from Polly Platts):

“Excusez-moi de vous deranger. Monsieur/Madame, mais j ai une probleme”.

The French love nothing better than to be asked their opinion on a subject

They feel strongly about.

Yes, the French are “ argumentative” but an argument in this case had the legal English meaning here:

It is a point of view presented, not an unpleasant attack.

Compromise, on the other hand, has a negative meaning in French. It is to be avoided. The French are quick to criticize everybody and everything, but that is often only to make an opportunity for discussion to “ break the ice” so to speak. Most good conversations start with a complaint and end with a satisfactory display of analytical thinking. Waiters love to discuss the nuances of their menus.

The art of conversation in France is highly developed. It follows very specific, rules. However, as a foreigner with limited skills in French, you will be forgiven a multitude of sins, as long as you do not commit the only cardinal sin: refusing to converse.